(imaginary) exit interview (for therapy)
i said all my problems are the same as when i started she said you’ll (just) keep doing what yuve been doing watching, observing, thinking waiting for something (for whatever) to instigate the chainge (you wont do it on yore own without some reason...) *** i saw you (as usual) on the innernet, talking into tha camera frank (as ever) it was the night before yore twenty-first birthday you were taking stock you were summing up you were invoking tha spirit for yore twenty first yeer telling yore self (and tha camera) (just) how ya wanta be you couldnt know id be watching trying to pretend you were talking to me as ridiculous as that seems *** you were on tha beech in black of night all alone, saying (into tha camera) what if love doesnt exist and its ok what if this suffering is (all) ok ? looking into the camera (just) as if it is (all) ok i took you so seriously *** moments later you pulled out yore standard deck of affirmations to draw out yore final message for yore yeer ending the top card said hope and you paid hommage to how we (all) need hope then shuffled tha deck and pulled a card randomly... love appears (the card said) and yer eyes widened ive never seen this card you said, and read the message aloud (for us all)... and right after what i (just) said about love not existing (!) you exclaimed (with visible amazement) amazed. *** what could any thing mean i wondered, (just) like i always wonder wondering without answer or need for answer *** when tha video was through i typed you a typical message: why do i feel like crying uncontrollably ? *** i wondered *** i saw you on tha innernet talking into tha camera earnest hearted (as ever) and thought all my problems are tha same as ever same as when i started and i wondered would i (ever) do any thing about it... or...
I want yore* voice on this